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A Simple Way For Couples To Know If They're Having Enough Sex
TIWN
A Simple Way For Couples To Know If They're Having Enough Sex
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New York, Oct 20 (TIWN): If you've ever wondered this to yourself while in a relationship, you certainly wouldn't be alone. Oftentimes the question comes up when there's a feeling of disconnection in the relationship—a lack of excitement or "spark" between you—and a lack of sex may float to mind as a potential explanation.

But other times, people might feel pretty satisfied and content in their relationships, but outside influences—like hearing other people talk about how much or how little sex they're having in their relationships—can make you start to question your own.

So we asked Jessa Zimmerman, M.A., an AASECT-certified sex therapist and marriage counselor, what she tells couples wondering about the amount of sex they are or aren't having.

How much sex is "enough" for a healthy relationship?
First things first: Enough for who?

Zimmerman recommends thinking about how you're defining the word "enough." Is it based on comparisons with other people's sex lives and trying to see if you're "normal"?

"There is no normal. There is no 'right' amount of sex," she says.

There's no one magic number that will work for every single pair of people, and how often couples should be having sex will always vary depending on the specific needs of the specific people involved. Some people feel perfectly satisfied with sex once every few months, whereas others would consider that basically a sexless relationship. And of course, some people like having a sexless relationship, whether because they're on the asexual spectrum or just prefer it that way. It all depends on the individual, and all preferences are valid.

Sometimes people might feel like they're not having enough sex because they're comparing their relationship to how it's been in the past, Zimmerman adds, but even a decline in frequency doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem. "It's normal for our sexual interest to change over time and to feel less intense desire," she explains. Sometimes you're just in a period of time when you don't feel like having sex, and that's perfectly OK.

The real question, she notes, is whether each partner individually feels like they're having a satisfying amount of sex—whatever that looks like to them personally. Do you feel satisfied with your sex life as it is right now? Does your partner?

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